LESSON 1
A junior manager, a senior
manager and their
boss are on their way to a meeting.
On
their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally,
one is granted
three wishes but as you are
three,I will
allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager
shouted, "I
want the first wish. I want to
be in the Bahamas,
on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff, and he
was gone.
Now the junior manager could
not keep quiet
and shouted "I want to be
In
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails."
Pfufffff, and he Was also
gone.
The boss calmly said, "I
want these two
idiots back in the office after
lunch at
12.35pm."
*MORAL OF THE STORY IS: " ALWAYS
ALLOW
THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST"*
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LESSON 2
Standing in front of a
shredder with a piece
of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO,
"this
is a very sensitive and important
document,and my secretary has left. Can you
make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young
executive.
He turned the machine on,
inserted the paper,
and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said
the CEO
as his paper disappeared inside the
shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
*LESSON II - NEVER, NEVER ASSUME
THAT YOUR
BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING.*
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LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese
were sitting on the
plane on the way to LA
When the American
turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese
are you?"
The Japanese confused,
replied, "Sorry
but I don't understand what you mean."
The American repeated, "What
kind of -ese
are you?"
Again, the Japanese was
confused over the
question.
The American, now irritated,
then yelled,
"What kind of -ese are you
...
Are you a Chinese, Japanese,
Vietnamese!,
etc......???"
The Japanese then replied,
"Oh, I am a
Japanese."
A while later the Japanese
turned to the
American and asked What kind
of 'key'
was he.
The American, frustrated,
yelled, "What
do you mean what kind of -kee'
am I?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you
a Yankee,
donkee, or monkee?"
*LESSON III - NEVER INSULT ANYONE
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LESSON 4
There were these 4 guys, a
Russian, a German,
an American and a French,
who found this
small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that
the 4 guys had
released him out of the bottle,
he said,
"Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards
the pool and jump,
you shout what you want the pool
of
Water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start.
He ran towards the
pool, jumped and shouted
"WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so Happy
swimming and drinking
from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn,
he did the same
and shouted, "VODKA" and Immersed
himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he
jumped and shouted,
"BEER". He was so Contented
with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He
was running
towards the pool when suddenly
He steps
on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."
*LESSON IV - THINK TWICE BEFORE
YOU SAY
SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS
DO HAPPEN.*
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LESSON 5
The organs of the body were
having a meeting,
trying to decide who was
In charge. Each
organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain......... I should be
in charge because I
run all body functions.
Blood........ I should be in
charge because I
circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in
charge because I
process food to the brain.
Legs......... I should be in
charge because I
take the brain where it Wants to go.
Eyes......... I should be in
charge because I
let the brain see where
it's going.
Asshole.....I should be in
charge because I
get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed
so hard and this
made the asshole very mad.
To prove his
point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6
days, refusing to rid
the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache
and
cried out for relief
Day 2 -
Stomach got
bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3
- Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 -
Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 -
Blood became toxic and poisoned the
body
Day 6
-The other organs agreed to
let the asshole be in charge.
*MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER
WHO YOU ARE, OR
HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU
WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE.*
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